No, this has no reference to the Name-Place-Animal-Thing game that we as kids made our go to on dull nothing better to do afternoons. A game that our parents encouraged us to play in the hope that our grasp of geography, zoology, nouns etc will get an uplift. The days when we had ample monopoly on our time. Days prior to board games like Monopoly and aeons before games like Fortnite took over our days, weeks, fortnights and months. Yes, looking back, those were the daze.
Let me place this right. It’s not about geography. But, going by the names of some of these places, the worry is geography could become history. This rant is about names of some places and the impact (scar is more like it) that it leaves behind.
I am not sure how this place got its name but whosoever was involved in it was sure putting on an act – I am referring to DONGRI. There are strategic brand extensions of it as well like DONGRI Kabootar Wali Chaal(???) but we will leave that for another time. DONGRI? Common, get authentic!
If you think this place has heaps of hidden wealth and this is where the 21st Century gold rush is headed, banish the thought. BANDARWADA holds no such promise. Or premise. It was just Maharashtra’s idea of getting back at Coloma, California, where the first gold rush took place. And there ends the comparison.And the ecstacy.
This one will send a lot of us up shit creek. It’s a place called POO. Yes. POO. Don’t pooh pooh it. POO is a small town in Himachal Pradesh. Whoever hatched this sinister conspiracy, did it in POOr taste. Winnie the POO anyone?
SUAR: When I first heard about this place in Rampur, Uttar Pradesh, I wasn’t too suar..I mean sure. On verifying, it turns out there was actually a swine who named this place SUAR. He sure wasn’t too piggy about his selection. I had half a mind to call him porque but then (pig)let it be!
This place is no push over considering it’s actually Ferry Wharf. Sounds ferry good isn’t it? But try getting a bit verny and it gets called BHAUCHA DHAKKA. What aggression. Almost feels like a violation. Like Saddam’s Kuwait invasion. It’s still coming to terms with the DHOKKA.
This one is no middle of the road place. It’s direct and in your face or rather nostrils. A place called MIDDELFART. A small town in central Denmark. They had no clue the kind of stink that such a name will raise. But there you go, no s(h)itting on the fence! Probably, couldn’t smell beyond their own nose – Who knows?
Who on earth would name a place like this? HELL. Yes, that’s what it is. Heaven can wait. No way in hell should a place be named such, hell no, but because it is in Norway, they got away with it I guess. Would they have hell to pay? I have no clue. Imagine booking an Uber ride to HELL. And paying for it in cash!!! And then rating the ride…go to hell I say.
It’s getting increasingly juvenile from hereon. Time for some local anusthesia. That is what you will need when you discover there is a place called ANUS. As if one intrinsically appended to our anatomy was not enough. The French had to have their back door entry into a town called Burgundy. And anus was their only back up. If you are a tour guide and wielding the microphone, how would you react when you hear her say ‘ we are about to enter ANUS ? Since there is a lot to explore, the stop over here will be an hour, anyone wanting to use the rest rooms may… ‘
Seems nothing will make them change the name of this place. NOTHING. Yes, this uninhabited ghost town in Mohave Country, Arizona. Through the years, the dedicated (non) residents had faith in nothing, hoped for nothing, worked at nothing, for nothing. So much for nothing. About time to re-visit ‘ something is better than nothing ‘. Because nothing is!
We are criss crossing geographies here but closer home there is a one horse town called BHAINSA. Didn’t I predict it? It’s an animal thing. No, this place was NOT the inspiration for Bob Marley’s Buffalo Soldier. It is just Telangana’s retort to the Avenue des Champs-Élysées in Paris. So, try as you might till the cows come home, Bhainsa is not going grazing anywhere.
What’s in a name? Shakespeare had no clue and will definitely change his mind. Till the next rant..