When Heavy Weight Brands Are Made to Do A Heavy Wait!

On a recent overseas trip, had some (customary) waiting to do upon landing at Bombay airport, so decided( after the usual polite skirmish with sweat, suede and swear words) to be an inno scent bystander next to the baggage carousel as it aimlessly (and somewhat harmlessly) went around in circles. So here’s the 360 Degree on it, motivated, well, by bags of time!

– The absolute nonchalance with each and every piece of baggage gets treated once it finds place on the carousel has convinced me that the carousel is the only place in the world that is completely agnostic to brands and their status in the pecking order. Tumi, Louis Vitton, Delsey, Samsonite, American Tourister, VIP, BOSS, Echolac, China Mall…all came (and went) alike. The message going was loud and clear. Rest in (One)Piece…till such time your owner gets a handle on you!

– Nowhere will you see a better study in contrast. The bags taking it’s own sweet time to get to where it ought to, unabashedly relaxed, clinically unrepentant, approaching arrogance ( I am the BOSS here, you better give me the VIP treatment), do not intrude on my hammock style existence…..On the other side, the owners: anxious, impatient, irritated, hopeful, worried, chaos personified.

– The bags I tell you love drama (and some gymnastics as well). Every now and then they bring you to the edge as they salsa, spin and swirl but manage to stay on top of the carousel. The Art of New Balance. That in the process they knock off a few socks from ankles and uncles is a different story. Really edge of the seat stuff!

–  As you take your monster off the carousel knocking off a few patellas in the process(with a little help from 8 people close to you, 4 of whom were standing on your toes unrepentantly), you just want the trolley to glide through the sea of humanity only to realise that this piece of convenience(supposedly) has no sense of direction. As you push North, it heads East. So much for where there’s a wheel, there’s a way! And in any case, SPV (Special Purpose Vehicle) I guess are meant to function only in Governments!

– The area surrounding the carousel is actually a medical practitioner’s delight. The ideal place to easily diagnose the following including but not restricted to: Slip Disc, Parkinsons, Blood Pressure, Arthritis, Extreme Body Odour, Colour Blindness…is it blue or green? And the real owner sees red in the bargain. If you don’t mind, could you please help me offload my bag?(I travelled light this time)-it’s just 87 kgs( any more and she would have had to hire a cargo plane).

– Do you think the carousel is an ideal candidate for acute nausea? Imagine going around in circles, hour after hour, day after day- 360 Degrees and the emergence of the Circular Economy is all very fine but doing it 365 days a year?? Where does it begin? And where does it end? Methinks it’s happy to be a spin doctor! Or should we call it a victim of circum stance?

– So the next time you travel, carry XS baggage(Armani, A R Mani, Mr Moneybags etc pl note). Xtra Small. Don’t break the carousel.Give the carousel a break…unless of course you want to see some Delsey, all at sea! Boss, it makes no sense Tumi!