Trapped in a World of Having The Last Word?


‘ Last words are for fools who haven’t said enough‘ – Karl Marx 


That is a telling narrative on our compulsive need to play the power dynamics game. Of having the last word. Accumulating brownie points.


In the context of life’s brevity, last words do take a different meaning. Often, the words are brief because there is no energy for a full conversation. Mama” is one of the most common last words that people speak ( no surprises there). Some people’s last utterances are curse words. Others may mumble a word that holds significance to them – but it may mean nothing to their families – for their final words.


Contrarian as it may sound, but an apology is a good way to have the last word. And set the foundation for the connection, communication and conversation to move forward. 



You can’t win them all, you can’t please them all nor can you convince them all. So, if the person on the other end is not singing from your hymn sheet, or doesn’t agree with you, smile, nod and move onto more important things. A simple strategy that will save you so many headaches: don’t care about winning trivial arguments.


Weak people take revenge. Strong people forgive. Intelligent people ignore. Life is short. Learning to not care about having the last word will save you so much time.


Your chances of being heard and understood grows exponentially when you adopt the disciplined practice to listen.


My last words before I conclude this post would be:-


” Never try to have the last word. You might get it ” – Robert Heinlein




A Sorry Tale!

Sorry comes in two variants. Choice architecture anyone?


And often times, we ‘ miss the wood for the trees ‘.


I am sorry your dog died ” does not mean that you killed the dog. Not at all.


I am sorry I tripped you ” does mean that you tripped some one.


In creating connection and trying to make amends, we often get confused by the two kinds of sorry, and hence don’t apologize because we think that the problem wasn’t our fault.


The homepage of our relationship cannot be currently displayed because of a server error. Can we please click on the refresh button and start all over again? I am sorry “.


Sorry doesn’t take things back, but it pushes things forward. It bridges the gap. Sorry is a sacrament. It’s an offering. A gift.


One of the hardest things you may ever have to do in life is to deliver an apology. A true and sincere apology offers real regret and remorse for our actions, and carries a promise that we won’t do it again. It means acknowledging our faults, taking responsibility for the things we have done wrong, and opens a dialogue between two people. An apology, when correctly given and sincerely meant, can create deeper and more trusting relationships.


An apology is a good way to have the last word. And the first to move things forward. And make a relationship last.


The most important trip you may take in life is meeting people halfwayHenry Boye