Knowing to say no !


There is tremendous power resident within the act of saying no. The domino effect is that we tend to value ourselves more, prioritize ourselves and can even lead us to new opportunities that wouldn’t have been achievable by saying yes. It also allows us to set boundaries.


Way back in the mid 1970s there was a book released titled ” Don’t Say Yes When You Want to Say No ” which got cult status in transforming mindsets. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with saying no when necessary. This includes when you simply don’t have the energy to do everything you’re asked or when you want to prioritize self-care.


As they say, “ the best movies are so not because of what you see, but because what you don’t see “. The director and editor would be in tandem saying no to such stock even though it might be alluring to retain it within the film but because they realise that leaving out will only add to the appeal and the aura of the film.

If you are tongue tied up about saying no, and find it hard to articulate it, here is an incredible example that you would want to take inspiration from. Writer and translator Estelle Gilson picks up this extract of a rejection slip put out by a Chinese economic journal :-


“We have read your manuscript with boundless delight. If we were to publish your paper, it would be impossible for us to publish any work of lower standard. And as it is unthinkable that in the next thousand years we shall see it’s equal, we are, to our regret, compelled to return your divine composition and to beg you a thousand times to overlook our short sight and timidity.”


Now, go better that!!!


Saying “No” is an essential skill, but so is knowing how to say it without antagonizing people. If you can get the balance right, you’ll be all the more successful for it. We might be capable but that does not mean that we become the walking talking epitome of being a ‘yes man’.


So, stop being a people pleaser! We can learn how to set boundaries and say NO – Without Feeling Guilty! And you will discover that it is counter to what runs in your head. Especially if your worry is putting off or upsetting people. Imagine being able to turn down requests and decline invitations with confidence and poise. Imagine saying no to people asking you for favors, and inspiring their respect in the process. Only the guilty are afraid.


Start taking control of your life. Start with that beautiful word “no”.



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