Let’s cut the corporate karma and dive straight into the gut of it. The most dangerous word in a leadership vocabulary isn’t a four-letter expletive. It’s a three-letter conjunction: BUT.
This is a conversation of, by & for “ And V But “. As great conversations don’t contradict. They compound.
We have all gone through it. Conversations dying the moment someone says ‘but ‘. Often times, our creative director and team at ISD Global pitch a brilliant idea. The client leans forward, eyes lit up, mouth opened and…”I love it, but can we make it more corporate?”
And just like that, the idea flatlines.
The Assassin In The Room
“But” is the most polite assassin in the English language. It wears a smile, nods encouragingly, and then quietly strangles every word that came before it.
Think about it. When someone says “You’re talented, but…” do you remember the compliment? Hell no. You’re already bracing for impact.
“But” is the eraser that shows up after the pen has written. It’s the delete key disguised as punctuation. It’s the conversation killer we’ve all normalized.
Enter the Humble Revolutionary: AND
Now consider this small act of linguistic rebellion: Replace “but” with “and.”
“I love it, and can we explore how to make it work for corporate?”
Feel that? The idea didn’t die. It expanded. The conversation didn’t close. It opened.
This isn’t semantics. This is survival.
In a world addicted to binaries—right or wrong, win or lose, agree or disagree—“and” is the bridge we forgot we could build. It’s the difference between playing chess and playing jazz. One eliminates possibilities. The other creates them.
Three Conversations That Changed Because Of One Word
The Pitch: A startup founder told investors, “We’re not profitable yet, and we’ve captured 40% market share in six months.” The round closed. Why? Because “and” let both truths coexist without one canceling the other.
The Feedback: A manager told an employee, “Your report was thorough, and I think trimming it by 30% would make it sharper.” The employee didn’t defend. She improved. “And” invited collaboration instead of combat.
The Conflict: Two partners were stuck. One said, “I hear that you want to pivot, and I’m concerned about our existing commitments.” Not agreement. Not capitulation. Just space for both realities to breathe.
The Dangerous Comfort of BUT
Here’s why we cling to “but“—it lets us stay safe. It allows us to acknowledge something without actually accepting it. It’s the conversational equivalent of liking someone’s post but never showing up when it matters.
“And” is riskier. It demands we hold contradictions simultaneously. It asks us to be adults about complexity. It refuses the lazy comfort of either/or thinking.
The Science Of It
Neuroscience doesn’t lie. BUT triggers a threat response in the brain—a mini amygdala hijack. AND triggers a reward response. It invites the prefrontal cortex, the seat of creativity and problem-solving, to the party. You’re not just being nice; you’re engineering better brain chemistry for innovation.
The Provoke Principle
Every conversation is a co-creation or a demolition. You choose which with every word.
“But” demolishes. It signals: what you said doesn’t really matter because here comes what actually matters.
“And” co-creates. It signals: what you said matters and there’s more to explore here.
The next time you’re about to say “but,” pause. Ask yourself: am I trying to win this conversation or grow it?
Truth be told: The most powerful people in any room aren’t the ones with the best arguments. They’re the ones who can hold multiple truths at once, who can say “you’re right, and let me add this,” who understand that great conversations aren’t about conclusions—they’re about connections.
Start using “and.” Watch what happens.
Your relationships will acknowledge you. Your ideas will multiply. Your influence will grow.
And you’ll finally understand what real conversation feels like.
Your AND is your superpower. It’s the difference between being a critic and a co-creator. Between a transaction and a partnership. Between a room of defensive individuals and a tribe building a future.
Stop arguing. Start AND-ing.