{"id":2420,"date":"2025-12-22T09:27:38","date_gmt":"2025-12-22T05:27:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.sureshdinakaran.com\/blog\/?p=2420"},"modified":"2025-12-22T09:27:38","modified_gmt":"2025-12-22T05:27:38","slug":"the-most-audacious-love-affair-youve-been-neglecting","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.sureshdinakaran.com\/blog\/2025\/12\/22\/the-most-audacious-love-affair-youve-been-neglecting\/","title":{"rendered":"The Most Audacious Love Affair You\u2019ve Been Neglecting&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Close your eyes. Play this in the beautiful landscape of your mind.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>You&#8217;re at a five-star buffet of life, piling your plate sky-high with everyone else&#8217;s seconds\u2014boss&#8217;s deadlines, lover&#8217;s moods, kid&#8217;s tantrums. Then the lights flicker. The mirror cracks. And a voice whispers, &#8220;Plate&#8217;s full, genius. Yours is empty.&#8221; Ouch. Or is it?<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em>Dear Love<\/em><\/span>, it is time to spill it. What wisdom hides in the art of doting on myself? Because let&#8217;s face it, we&#8217;re all pros at self-sabotage marathons\u2014running ragged for applause that never comes. For attention that is never received.<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-2421\" src=\"https:\/\/www.sureshdinakaran.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/12\/How-steep-is-your-love.jpeg\" alt=\"\" width=\"2000\" height=\"2000\" \/><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em><strong>Dear Love, what would you have me know about learning how to dote upon myself?<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Walking past a mirror and actually\u00a0<span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em>liking<\/em><\/span>\u00a0what you see. Not tolerating. Not accepting.\u00a0<em><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">Liking<\/span>.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>We live in a world where we&#8217;ll binge-watch seven seasons of other people&#8217;s lives but can&#8217;t sit with ourselves for seven minutes without reaching for a distraction. Where we&#8217;ll send &#8220;thinking of you&#8221; texts to seventeen people but never to the one person reading this right now.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>So we ask Love itself: <span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em>What would you have me know about learning how to dote upon myself?<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>And Love, that cheeky b*X*&gt;, laughed.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em>The Museum Guard Who Changed Everything<\/em><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>You might be aware of this <span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em>unverified story<\/em><\/span> which I chanced upon recently.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>There&#8217;s this security guard at the <em><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">Louvre Museum<\/span><\/em>\u2014Henri\u2014who spent 40 years watching tourists photograph the <span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em>Mona Lisa<\/em><\/span> while <span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em>never looking at the painting themselves<\/em><\/span>. All lens, no presence. One day, his daughter asked, &#8220;Papa, when was the last time <span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em>you<\/em><\/span> just looked at her?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>He realized he&#8217;d been in the room with beauty for decades but never actually <span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em>with<\/em><\/span> it.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>We&#8217;re all Henri. In the room with ourselves\u2014this wild, unrepeatable consciousness\u2014but busy documenting life for an audience that&#8217;s also not paying attention.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><em><strong><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">What Love Actually Said<\/span><\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>When you press Love harder, it gets serious:<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Doting isn&#8217;t self-indulgence. It&#8217;s self-<span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em>preservation<\/em><\/span>. You can&#8217;t love from an empty vessel. You can only leak desperation and resentment from there. <span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em>Fill yourself first. Overflow second<\/em><\/span>.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Then it added: &#8220;And stop waiting for someone else to give you permission. That&#8217;s not love\u2014that&#8217;s probably hostage negotiation.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em>Self-doting<\/em><\/span> isn&#8217;t bubble baths and affirmations. It&#8217;s <span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em>the revolutionary act of treating your own company as valuable<\/em><\/span>.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em><strong>My Pickup Truck Epiphany If You Will&#8230;<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<p>Last month, I chased a client deadline( you can ask, what&#8217;s new?) like a dog after its tail\u2014emails at 2 AM, coffee as blood. Crashed into a wall (metaphorical, thankfully). Sat in my car, engine off, staring at the dashboard. Asked Love: &#8220;What now?&#8221; Answer hit like cheap whiskey: <span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em>Stop driving everyone else&#8217;s car. Tune yours.<\/em><\/span> Doted on myself with 20 minutes of nothingness. Zilch. Bliss. Paced my story? Chaos to calm in one gear shift.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p class=\"gmail-my-2 gmail-[&amp;+p]:mt-4 gmail-[&amp;_strong:has(+br)]:inline-block gmail-[&amp;_strong:has(+br)]:pb-2\"><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em><strong>The Monk Who Quit Enlightenment<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"gmail-my-2 gmail-[&amp;+p]:mt-4 gmail-[&amp;_strong:has(+br)]:inline-block gmail-[&amp;_strong:has(+br)]:pb-2\">\n<em><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">Jiddu Krishnamurti<\/span><\/em>, the anti-guru guru, ditching his messiah role at 30. Why? He saw &#8220;enlightenment&#8221; as another&#8217;s script. He chose <span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em>self-doting<\/em><\/span>\u2014quiet walks, unscripted thoughts. Rare truth: The guy who could\u2019ve owned spirituality said no. Lesson? Dote first, or your soul starves amid the spotlight.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p class=\"gmail-my-2 gmail-[&amp;+p]:mt-4 gmail-[&amp;_strong:has(+br)]:inline-block gmail-[&amp;_strong:has(+br)]:pb-2\">But what if doting isn&#8217;t bubble baths and brunches? What if it&#8217;s <span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em>rebellion<\/em><\/span>?<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em><strong>The Elephant In The&#8230;<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><em><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">Elephants<\/span><\/em>. These titans dote via &#8220;dust baths&#8221;\u2014rolling in mud not for spa vibes, but survival. Mud blocks sun, kills parasites. Rare? They teach calves this ritual young. Humans? We slather on others&#8217; mud and call it loyalty.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><em><strong><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">So, If You Need An Invitation&#8230;<\/span><\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>For one week, treat yourself like someone you&#8217;re trying to seduce. Not impress\u2014<span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em>seduce<\/em><\/span>. Notice what you need before you need it. Laugh at your own jokes. Cancel plans that feel like obligations. Buy the good coffee. Dance in your kitchen. Be unabashedly<span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"> <em>pleased<\/em><\/span> by your own existence.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Because&#8230;here&#8217;s the secret they don&#8217;t print on motivational posters: The love you&#8217;re seeking? It&#8217;s already here. In the body that carried you through every heartbreak. In the mind that never stopped trying. In the soul that&#8217;s reading this, hoping for permission.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Consider it granted.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><strong><em>So, If You Read This Far, How About Some Takeaways?<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p class=\"gmail-my-2 gmail-[&amp;+p]:mt-4 gmail-[&amp;_strong:has(+br)]:inline-block gmail-[&amp;_strong:has(+br)]:pb-2\"><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em>Dote like a rebel:<\/em><\/span> Say no to one &#8220;yes&#8221; today. Watch your energy roar back.<\/p>\n<p class=\"gmail-my-2 gmail-[&amp;+p]:mt-4 gmail-[&amp;_strong:has(+br)]:inline-block gmail-[&amp;_strong:has(+br)]:pb-2\"><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em>Mirror ritual:<\/em><\/span> Daily, ask, &#8220;What feeds <span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em>me<\/em><\/span>?&#8221; Not them. Journal it.<\/p>\n<p class=\"gmail-my-2 gmail-[&amp;+p]:mt-4 gmail-[&amp;_strong:has(+br)]:inline-block gmail-[&amp;_strong:has(+br)]:pb-2\"><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em>Elephant wisdom<\/em><\/span><strong>:<\/strong> Muddy up your boundaries. Rare truth\u2014self-care isn&#8217;t selfish; it&#8217;s seismic.<\/p>\n<p class=\"gmail-my-2 gmail-[&amp;+p]:mt-4 gmail-[&amp;_strong:has(+br)]:inline-block gmail-[&amp;_strong:has(+br)]:pb-2\"><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em>Krishnamurti hack<\/em><\/span><strong>:<\/strong> Quit one &#8220;should.&#8221; Walk. Think free.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p class=\"gmail-my-2 gmail-[&amp;+p]:mt-4 gmail-[&amp;_strong:has(+br)]:inline-block gmail-[&amp;_strong:has(+br)]:pb-2\"><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em>Dear Love<\/em><\/span>, you whisper: Doting on myself isn&#8217;t indulgence; it&#8217;s insurrection against a world that devours the undoted. Start small\u2014your truck awaits. <span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em>Provoke yourself first<\/em><\/span>.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p class=\"gmail-my-2 gmail-[&amp;+p]:mt-4 gmail-[&amp;_strong:has(+br)]:inline-block gmail-[&amp;_strong:has(+br)]:pb-2\"><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em>What&#8217;s your dust bath? Hit reply. Let&#8217;s stir the mud.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&nbsp; Close your eyes. Play this in the beautiful landscape of your mind. &nbsp; You&#8217;re at a five-star buffet of life, piling your plate sky-high with everyone else&#8217;s seconds\u2014boss&#8217;s deadlines, lover&#8217;s moods, kid&#8217;s tantrums. Then the lights flicker. The mirror cracks. And a voice whispers, &#8220;Plate&#8217;s full, genius. Yours is empty.&#8221; Ouch. Or is it? &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.sureshdinakaran.com\/blog\/2025\/12\/22\/the-most-audacious-love-affair-youve-been-neglecting\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;The Most Audacious Love Affair You\u2019ve Been Neglecting&#8230;&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2420","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sureshdinakaran.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2420","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sureshdinakaran.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sureshdinakaran.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sureshdinakaran.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sureshdinakaran.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2420"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.sureshdinakaran.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2420\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2422,"href":"https:\/\/www.sureshdinakaran.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2420\/revisions\/2422"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sureshdinakaran.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2420"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sureshdinakaran.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2420"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sureshdinakaran.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2420"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}