{"id":1904,"date":"2025-02-20T07:43:42","date_gmt":"2025-02-20T03:43:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.sureshdinakaran.com\/blog\/?p=1904"},"modified":"2025-02-20T07:51:09","modified_gmt":"2025-02-20T03:51:09","slug":"time-to-flip-the-script-from-whats-wrong-with-this-person-to-whats-right","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.sureshdinakaran.com\/blog\/2025\/02\/20\/time-to-flip-the-script-from-whats-wrong-with-this-person-to-whats-right\/","title":{"rendered":"Time to Flip the Script? From What&#8217;s Wrong with this Person to What&#8217;s Right&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Circa 1930. Great Britain. The acronym <span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em>ADHD<\/em><\/span> did not exist. <a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Gillian_Lynne\"><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em>Gillian Lynne<\/em><\/span><\/a> was considered the quintessential problem child. She did terribly in school. She couldn&#8217;t sit still, let alone focus. People called her Wriggle Bottom. Her mother, thinking that her daughter is a <span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em>disorder<\/em><\/span>, took her to the Doctor. And that visit would radically change the course of Lynne&#8217;s life.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>What is important to note here is What the Doctor <span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em>did not<\/em><\/span> do. He did not label the child as <span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em>difficult<\/em><\/span>. He did not tell her to calm down. He did not automatically medicate her. Instead, he decided to follow a hunch. He turned on the radio in his room. And escorted the mother and himself out of the room.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>The minutes the adults left the room, Lynne&#8217;s body began to move. As the music filled the room, Lynne couldn&#8217;t contain herself and danced all around, including on the Doctor&#8217;s desk. Through the transparent glass door both the mother and Doctor were watching this spectacle. A little later it was time for the Doctor to write the prescription. It said &#8221; <span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em>She is a natural dancer.<\/em><\/span> <span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em>Take her to dance class<\/em> <\/span>&#8220;. What followed was a lifetime of dance. Lynne danced in the <span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em>Royal Ballet<\/em><\/span> and choreographed<span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">\u00a0<a style=\"color: #ff0000;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.catsthemusical.com\/\"><i>Cats<\/i><\/a>\u00a0<\/span>and\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/The_Phantom_of_the_Opera_(1986_musical)\"><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><i>Phantom of the Opera<\/i><\/span><\/a>\u2014two of the longest-running shows in <span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em>Broadway<\/em> <\/span>history*.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>*<span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Extracted from <\/span><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><a style=\"color: #ff0000;\" href=\"https:\/\/ozanvarol.com\/\">Ozan Varol&#8217;s<\/a><\/span> <span style=\"color: #000000;\">blog<\/span><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Some games that we humans like playing include Scrabble, Sudoku, Monopoly, Poker, Chess and the likes. But, what takes the cake, along with the bakery and baker is a game called <span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em>Find The Flaw<\/em><\/span>. It is practiced with so much diligence as if it has to become an <span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em>Olympic Sport<\/em><\/span>. It could, you never know.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>For all the unemployment and under employment that we talk about, I feel that most people are fully employed in a profession called &#8216; <span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em>judging others<\/em><\/span> &#8216;.\u00a0 And no, the jury need not be out on that. The default setting is\u00a0<span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em>fault-finding mode<\/em><\/span>\u2014high-definition, surround sound, and zero buffering.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>The uncomfortable, inconvenience truth is that &#8221; <span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em>we are addicted to deficiency detection<\/em><\/span> &#8220;. There is a difference between flaws and fire. <span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em>Flaws don&#8217;t define people. Their fire does<\/em><\/span>.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em>Finding flaws is a cultural epidemic.<\/em><\/span> For eg when it comes to performance appraisals- the reverse of the <a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Pareto_principle\"><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em>Pareto Principle<\/em><\/span><\/a> works here. 80% of reviews and appraisals are spent on <span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em>finding<\/em><\/span> areas of improvement and 20%(condescendingly at that) on <span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em>celebrating strengths<\/em><\/span>. Because by focusing on whats wrong, makes one feel more productive, more in, more serious and more professional.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Classic example is the marketing manager who takes a lot of time on client calls. The common corporate refrain is &#8216; <span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em>she needs to be more efficient with her time<\/em><\/span> &#8216;. But where we miss the wood for the trees is those long calls help client retention rates significantly and boosts organic revenues. What was considered <span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em>wrong<\/em><\/span> was actually <span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em>right<\/em><\/span>.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>When we start looking for &#8216; <span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em>what&#8217;s right<\/em><\/span> &#8216;, remarkable things begin to happen:<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>The what is considered as a &#8216; <span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em>difficult<\/em> <\/span>&#8216; employee who asks too many questions is the one who insulates against groupthink, echo chamber and multiple projects being salvaged. She is not difficult. She needs to be rewarded.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Or the <span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em>overthinking analyst<\/em> <\/span>who spots the minor details( after all both God and Devil are in the details) which helps the company its next major innovation. Give her a standing ovation.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>How many times have we heard this &#8221; <span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em>He&#8217;s too emotional, or sensitive<\/em> <\/span>&#8221; &#8211; well he is the exact same person whose empathy makes him anticipate and understand customer problems before they become too complicated to handle.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>It wouldn&#8217;t be incorrect to state that we humans have a <span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em>PhD in nitpicking<\/em><\/span>.<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-1906\" src=\"https:\/\/www.sureshdinakaran.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/Understand-Everyone.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"731\" \/><\/p>\n<p>Image Courtesy: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.groupisd.com\/story\/\"><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em>ISD Global<\/em><\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>People call <span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em>Elon Musk<\/em><\/span> ( yes, <span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em>The Corporate Weirdo Who is Laughing All The Way To Mars<\/em><\/span>) as erratic, unpredictable and obsessed. Maybe true. But, ask what&#8217;s right with him and you find in the least the following:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>he made <span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em>electric cars<\/em><\/span> sexy and sought after (RIP <span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em>Prius<\/em><\/span>)<\/li>\n<li>he made <span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em>space travel<\/em><\/span> into a <span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em>side hustle<\/em><\/span><\/li>\n<li>he breaks and bends every <span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em>corporate rule<\/em><\/span> in the book- yet, he owns categories, re-defines industries and of course prints more money than anyone else can fathom<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>And don&#8217;t forget he was almost written off in 2008 when Tesla was a few days away from bankruptcy.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Another brilliant example is <span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em>Lady Gaga<\/em><\/span>: considered by the purveyors of flaws as too eccentric, too over the top. The wrong end of the stick obviously. What if the right question to ask was &#8221; <span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em>Isn&#8217;t she a Creative Genius<\/em><\/span> ?&#8221; And <span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em>what is right<\/em> <\/span>with her includes:<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>-she owns her <span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em>uniqueness<\/em><\/span> and is unapologetic about it<\/p>\n<p>-she made music more about <span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em>self-love<\/em><\/span> than about Instagram hashtag<\/p>\n<p>-went from pop icon to <span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em>Oscar winning actress<\/em><\/span>&#8211; proving that <span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em>reinvention<\/em><\/span> is just not for <span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em>iPhones<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>And finally another example closer home. <a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Virat_Kohli\"><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em>Virat Kohli<\/em><\/span><\/a>. The <span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em>What&#8217;s Wrong brigade<\/em> <\/span>had lots to say- too aggressive, too hot headed..Doesn\u2019t \u2018<span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em>play it safe<\/em><\/span>\u2019 like old-school cricket legends- what about\u00a0 <span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em>Just Too Damn Good<\/em><\/span> ?<\/p>\n<p>And whats right with him?<\/p>\n<p>-he demands <span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em>excellence<\/em><\/span> not just from himself but from his entire team<\/p>\n<p>-he revolutionised the <span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em>fitness culture<\/em><\/span> in Indian cricket making 6 pack abs more common than match-fixing scandals<\/p>\n<p>-he wears <span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em>emotions<\/em> <\/span>on his sleeve- because he <span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em>cares<\/em><\/span> that much<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>The default &#8216; <span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em>nice and safe<\/em><\/span> &#8216; wouldn&#8217;t have helped him help India have so many of the wins it has had.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>We are wrongly trained(or hardwired) to see &#8216; <span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em>What&#8217;s missing<\/em><\/span>&#8216; instead of <span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em>What&#8217;s magnificent<\/em><\/span>? &#8216;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>But here&#8217;s the most uncomfortable truth of all: Our obsession with what&#8217;s wrong doesn&#8217;t just hurt others \u2013 <span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em>it blinds us to the extraordinary mosaic of human capability that surrounds us every day<\/em><\/span>.<\/p>\n<p>So I&#8217;ll leave you with this challenge: For the next week, ban &#8220;<span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em>What&#8217;s wrong with them<\/em><\/span>?&#8221; from your mental vocabulary. Replace it with &#8220;<span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em>What&#8217;s right with them that I might be missing<\/em><\/span>?&#8221; The answers might revolutionize how you see everyone around you \u2013 and maybe even yourself.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&nbsp; Circa 1930. Great Britain. The acronym ADHD did not exist. Gillian Lynne was considered the quintessential problem child. She did terribly in school. She couldn&#8217;t sit still, let alone focus. People called her Wriggle Bottom. Her mother, thinking that her daughter is a disorder, took her to the Doctor. And that visit would radically &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.sureshdinakaran.com\/blog\/2025\/02\/20\/time-to-flip-the-script-from-whats-wrong-with-this-person-to-whats-right\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;Time to Flip the Script? From What&#8217;s Wrong with this Person to What&#8217;s Right&#8230;&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1904","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t<!-- All in One SEO 5.0.1.1 - aioseo.com -->\n\t<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Circa 1930. Great Britain. The acronym ADHD did not exist. Gillian Lynne was considered the quintessential problem child. She did terribly in school. She couldn&#039;t sit still, let alone focus. People called her Wriggle Bottom. Her mother, thinking that her daughter is a disorder, took her to the Doctor. 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